Step right up and see Corporations love, cry and dance

Jack and Suzy Welch wrote a piece in the Wall Street Journal today titled; “It’s True: Corporations are People.”  Here are some samples:

Of course corporations are people. What else would they be? Buildings don't hire people. Buildings don't design cars that run on electricity or discover DNA-based drug therapies that target cancer cells in ways our parents could never imagine.

And later in the article:

And while they're doing that, people in corporations do indeed love and cry and dance.  (this “cry and dance” language is a reference to a speech by our own Elizabeth Warren that begins the article).  If you don't know that, you've never been part of a team that has pulled together over coffee and late nights and shouting and laughing and created something amazing to hit a deadline. You've never been in the room when a longtime client says it's not working anymore and she's taking her business to your biggest competitor. You've never sat in the lunch room when someone runs in and says the new medical device that no one thought had a chance, the little heart valve or something like it that every engineer in the place has been working on for two years, has just passed its first human clinical trials with flying colors.

 

REALLY Jack and Suzy, corporations are “people” because people happen to WORK there.  SO if I happen to have a job at legally created, state (not federal) business organizations (corporation) and I “cry and laugh” then the artificial business organization takes on my human attributes.  Furthermore if I happen to not see this magical corporation/human transformation then I am anti-business as they explain in the closing section of their op-ed:

This fact is so obvious that there can only be one conclusion drawn when we hear the pronouncement, "Corporations aren't people"—that it's doublespeak. That is, when people say that corporations aren't people, what they really want to say is, "Business is evil."

 

Please keep in mind that this really is a magical transformation worthy of Harry Potter.  This state created business organization, whose primary function is to make a profit AND is granted (thru the corporate structure)  limited liability of its shareholders and employees is granted human properties (after all Jack and Suzy tell us this legal creation can "cry and dance")!  

Maybe you are saying what I said after I read this today, “it took 2 people to write this pile of moronic drivel?”  The great business leader and his wife can’t come up with a more salient, focused and intelligent defense of corporations and business then this?  He dissed Elizabeth Warren; Mitt Romney was praised along with the (by inference) “Citizens United” case, wonder if there were any ulterior motives at work?, after all it is hard to believe this imbecilic article was simply meant to stand on its own.